"The Hardest Damn Thing in the world is to let go", my old friend David tells me.
I just cancelled all the performances I'd scheduled for the spring of 2010. I don't think I will have the energy to work full-time, rehearse a show, and expend any self care. Damn. Damn. Damn. Lance Armstrong rode marathons and Lynn Redgrave performed on Broadway while going through chemo. I am struggling to not judge myself for my reality.
I'll miss Emma Darwin and Rumi this spring. They are good people to spend time with.
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Sorry about the performances, but I am very happy you are taking care of yourself. It's unfair to compare yourself to people who have staffs hired to handle stuff for them. I'm glad you are smart, and wise, and building a strong, healthful future. And your wonderful characters will be waiting when you get back to them. - Nancy
ReplyDeleteNancy, you are unflagging in your support. It is heartening--literally.
ReplyDeleteBeth
And Armstrong and Redgrave were only doing one job, while being supported by staff. You have a full-time job I imagine you are doing very well, and the acting is a second job. So if Armstrong and Redgrave could do two demanding jobs with no staff while undergoing chemo, it might be a more fair comparison.
ReplyDeleteRant rant!
You are a wonder, and should not beat yourself up that you can't do more. You are doing a paid job plus the very important personal business of taking care of your health and your future.
Sorry for the rants. I get carried away. Sending you mental hugs. Take good care of my old high school friend, and I hope you feel better as soon as possible. - Nancy
You are wise and lovely and I love you.
ReplyDelete