Monday, March 8, 2010

The Ego Doesn't Know

I've been hearing this theme frequently in the world lately. The Ego is limited in its wisdom. It tells us it knows how to do everything. Wrong. The Ego doesn't know how to ride a bicycle. Our wise body-mind does.

It's not possible to plan and execute a rock climb completely in the brain. 20 feet up, it begins (quite sensibly) to scream "WE COULD DIE UP HERE". One must climb from a different place. Call it faith or hope.

I was given the terrible gift of living in that place as my diagnosis was made and treatment began. Now, as I'm getting back toward "normal", how do I continue to live, make choices, confront my limitations from a place of my body-truth, of faith? I'm approaching the season of my employer's annual fundraising gala, an infamous time-sink. I so want to live more healthfully into the many needs of this event. How?

Well, tonight I'll start by getting off the computer, doing my physical therapy, and remembering the gifts of the weekend: sun, rich words, a game with my sweetie, time with friends. I'll lay this question before God. Then I'll drink chamomile tea and leave the answers for tomorrow.