Things To Do While Waiting

1. Read. I Knew A Woman: Four Women Patients and Their Femail Caregiver by Cortney Davis. A beautiful book by a nurse practitioner, tracing a year in her life as she follows 4 patients from different stages of women's life. Davis finds the poetry within physical symptoms, and brings much affection to the dance between our bodies and our souls. This book transformed my night-before-surgery.

2. Read Sing Them Home, a new book by Stephanie Kallos, that is a great yarn, a refreshing journey of transformation, and is set in the Nebraska plains, which I'm fond of. Stevie is breath-taking, utterly concrete, and very funny.

3. Watch silly dvd's, especially Corner Gas, a Canadian series set in a small town that's kinda like Northern Exposure set in the plains.

4. Go to LOTS of 12 step meetings.

5. Do research and also know when to step away from the internet.

6. Take walks

7. Hang out with James in bed in the morning

8. Go back to work. Gently. It's great to think about other problems, for a change.

9. Hang out with friends, eating delicious food & remembering that life is really good.

10. Find every form of prayer/meditation/stress reduction that works & practice them whenever waiting seems impossible.

I'm likely to get results on the oncogyne dx test early next week, which will help determine whether chemotherapy will be helpful or not. At this point I see the oncologist and the cancer naturopath on July 14 & 16, the week when I need to make the decision about chemo. Choices will need to happen quickly at that point, so I'm trying to ask all the questions I can before hand. Alice, Jason, and David are going to help me to sort through the medical and statistical info, which I think I understand, but want to be very sure. Hooray for friends with different skill sets than mine.

Oh, I'm also waiting to hear about health insurance. My workplace is changing insurance as of July 1, and we don't have the new group number yet, so I can't determine what will be covered & what won't. This has the potential to be crazy-making. I have tested the hypothesis that I can convince the insurance company to tell me items they don't want to. Refer to #4 above.

Something FISH-y

More Medical Meetings yesterday & today: with the surgeon, Dr. Buchanan and with Dr. Rinn, the oncologist. I was a bit hasty in my last post...

My tumor tested positive for HER-2neu, an oncogene that encourages cells to grow. In 30% of breast cancers, there are too many of these oncogenes, which is why the cells over-produce. My initial test for HER-2neu was inconclusive, but the more expensive (FISH)test shows I am positive for it.

Treatment protocols are not clear for for tumors of my size (under 1 cm) that are both hormone receptive and HER-2neu postitive. On the one hand, it's a pretty small tumor. On the other hand, HER-2neu indicates a greater likelihood of re-occurrence. Dr Rinn, a sprightly woman, who is as ready to offer a smile as a statistic, is inclined toward a chemotherapy regimen combining hercepterin and taxol, while admitting that choices are not clear.

Ugh. I really wanted to avoid radiation & chemo. I was looking forward to the recovery period, instead of more treatment.

This news puts me back into the realm of gathering information: we'll try to run more diagnostics on the tissue. I'll meet with a cancer naturopath to look at a variety of options. I'll look at some more studies online. And pray. And sleep.

Pathology Report is Good

This morning at 9:15 my surgeon called, just returned from a vacation trip. Not every surgeon calls on Sunday mornings, but Dr. Buchanan knows I've been awaiting the surgical pathology report. HAPPY DANCE. They found no suprises, just the tumor that they expected, the same size and grade that was predicted. More details to follow after my meeting with her on Wednesday. The results of this report have been my one lingering concern.

The day has been a rich & long one, beginning with that call, going on to church, an afternoon journalizing in my favorite tea shop, and an hour-long reiki treatment at the center of a circle of four women. Their healing touch provides much-appreciated respite from the aches that accompany this new stage of healing. Now I'm oh so ready to head off to napland.

Goodbye Drain & Percoset

Things seem to be moving along very well. Today the drain was removed (an impressive piece of equipment -- a web 3/4" wide with holes to collect extra fluids from my tissue. It reminds me of lawncare, of tiles in Central Illinois fields). I'm usually managing discomfort with nothing more than ibuprofen. I actually stay awake for more than 2 hours at a time.

Thank you for the fabulous cards and offers of even more food! I'm probably about to contact some of you all to say yes to that. After all, when the best cooks in your life offer free food, WHY say no? Speaking of which, dinner calls, courtesy of David & Nicole.

Home Again Home Again Bloggity Blog

I've been home for 31 hours, eaten comfort food (Robin's home-made tapioca), healthy food (oh so yummy cabbage slaw with cilantro & vineagar). I've received a reiki treatment (hands-on healing) from Blair. The ritual of stripping and emptying the drain has become familiar. Naps have been blissfully plentiful. Following Dr. Buchanan's prescription, several walks a day have been injested. So far, pain has been well contained & there seems to be no bruising, which I attribute to Arnica, sublingual and in an external salve.

Your generosity of spirit and in practice is humbling, tender, inspiring, and above all comforting. I'm cohabitating with you when I open the freezer & see the food, when I smell the flowers, when I converse with you via cards and blogs, and other electronica. What a caring community. Thank you. Words are stupid and fumbling beside the deep flow of gratitude that flushes through my heart & my eyes. Through the last days, my only tears have been of thankfulness and joy.

Now, it's time to reduce the inventory of brocoli in miso-tempeh sauce, and begin the invalid's ritual of tv. I've signed up for netflix & will finally find out what WestWing is like.

Beth is home, but not blogging today.

James took Beth home from the hospital this morning, in fine shape! She's back in her stomping grounds and resting comfortably.

She won't have the energy to blog today (Friday), but she says she'll check in ASAP. Her sister Robin and friend Blair will visit this evening.

All is well!

Beth begins magnificent recovery.

Beth is doing great! She's fully alert, ate a good dinner, and has already made the transition from I.V. to oral pain medications, in preparation for going home tomorrow (Friday) morning.

She had chai tea (courtesy of her sister Robin) to wash down her Percoset, along with the home-made homeopathic remedy of slippery elm and ginger that she brought with her to the hospital.

The coolest piece of medical equipment in the room is the air compressor that periodically inflates big cuffs around the lower part of Beth's legs to boost circulation and prevent blood clots. Comfy!

Her nurse Kelly is a multitasking wonder of compassion and competence. Swedish appears to be an amazing hospital!

Beth is truly fine and will likely be blogging herself, on Friday.

Beth is alert, though "loopy"!

I had the chance to talk with Beth briefly on the phone. (She was helping me with parking, bless her!) She sounded cheerful, though tired.

When I asked her how she was, she said: "I'm more alert than I thought I would be, but I'm kind of loopy. I'm going to enjoy it!"

More later...

Surgery Successful!

James called: Beth is out of surgery, and everything went just as expected!

James is at the hospital now, and when Beth gets into her room he'll have the chance to see her.

More later!